The Human Touch
In the vast tapestry of human existence, each of us holds the potential for both kindness and cruelty. We are beautiful mysteries, yearning to be seen and heard, yet often requiring time and space to find our center and grow.
Love, the very essence of our souls, beautifully expresses itself through our eyes—a reminder that we are the universe perceiving itself. From the moment of birth, the significance of skin-to-skin contact becomes apparent, shaping a newborn’s connection to their parents.
When a mother holds her baby skin-to-skin, a cascade of instinctive behaviors unfolds. Maternal hormones surge, fostering a profound connection. This unspoken language of touch informs our instinctual, mental, and emotional faculties, promoting oxygenation and physical growth.
Touch, far from just initiating our journey, remains a central theme in all our relationships. It possesses its own language, capable of soothing the nervous system or inspiring growth. Yet, physical touch isn’t the sole means of reaching others. Touch can be touch-less, conveyed through words, glances, and gestures. The potential to touch the heart of humanity is boundless when we recognize the inherent power within us to connect.
This truth became evident through my somatic energy medicine and bodywork practice. Every element, from the tone of my voice to my approach, mattered. Communication, especially before physical touch, became the bedrock of my practice. This awareness transformed the experience for my clients, making them feel valued and understood.
Touch, in all its forms, emerges as a powerful means of communication, transcending words and expressing intentions with profound energy. It validates the emotional and mental body, fostering a sense of safety and presence. Consider team sports—a physical connection among players enhances communication, trust, confidence, and rhythm, leading to peak performance.
Understanding the language of touch acknowledges its ability to affirm and validate, transcending the physical realm to influence our mental and emotional well-being. In a world where genuine connection is invaluable, recognizing the transformative power of touch becomes not just a skill but a profound expression of humanity.
As we continue to explore the impact of touch on our well-being, let’s delve deeper into the intricate mechanisms shaping our experiences of connection. Beyond the tangible realm of touch lies the fascinating domain of the vagus nerve and the cultural landscapes that foster profound human bonds.
The vagus nerve, often called the “wanderer,” intricately weaves through our bodies, connecting the brain to various organs, including the heart and gut. Its role extends beyond the physical, influencing our emotional states and interpersonal connections. Understanding the dynamics of the vagus nerve opens a gateway to comprehending how our bodies respond to social interactions and contribute to the fabric of communal well-being.
Another way to boost oxytocin naturally is with exercise. Music also has the ability to increase oxytocin levels, especially when people sing in a group, which adds the element of bonding. In this book, we will explore how to use music and sound vibration as a means to relax, release and stimulate the healing response you or someone else may need.
Each type of actual skin-to-skin touch has different effects. The gentler the touch, for example, the more soothing it will be to the nervous system; the more vigorous the touch, the more stimulating it will be. Physical touch is immediate, nurturing, and affirming. Do you remember a time when you were young and nervous about trying something new? All you needed were your parents or coach to put their arms around you and let you know that, “No matter what, it’s going to be alright.” It doesn’t take much to shore up and jump-start someone’s energetic field and raise their ability to feel safe and confident in their skin.
With the need so great for physical touch and human connection in all of its tangible ways, why are we not giving or getting enough? One obvious reason is the use of handheld devices as social media dominates the space in our mind and takes the time that could have been spent on actually seeing your friends in person or creating something of value for the betterment of yourself and others.
The other reason could be cultural: some cultures are not very physical with each other. For example, my German-American friends that I grew up with, their style of love and affection were much different than my own. They were not as physical with touch and never showed much emotion, like my Mexican-American family. It was interesting to me to observe the differences, but in the end, their parents showed their love and support in other ways that my family did not. We are all so, so, unique and diverse in our preferences and needs, and it is wonderful to know what they are so that you can communicate what you exactly need from your loved ones.
Touch can also be scary for some, especially if they’ve experienced trauma and abuse early in life. In this case, to receive touch can be a vulnerable thing to trust and experience, but if done with tender and careful consideration, permission and boundaries. It could help to be the spark that can spur one to heal and grow through the trauma and pain. I have seen this many times in my private practice; getting over the mental and emotional hurdle of being touched can be the scariest thing, but in the end become a gift that they give themselves for a lifetime.
An indigenous style of child-rearing practices encompassed lots of compression and touch from an early age, helping to give the child a clear sense of boundaries and security. This provides the developing child a natural perspective on where they end and the world begins. In the last trimester in utero, the developing fetus is under steady pressure, stretching against the mother’s taut belly. Carried on the back of the parent where they can feel the parent’s heartbeat.
This recreation of compression, brings comfort to the Childs nervous system. We can still benefit from compression and rocking into our adulthood, what are ways in which you can provide this for yourself and others?
This comes from the first chapter of The Human Touch, The Elements of Energy Medicine….If you would like to personally contact the author and schedule a private session, feel free to click here.